From my studies and experience with motivation and coaching, one of the ways I found that explain why we sometimes can’t or won’t take control of out lives, is what I call:
“the comforting blanket of self-pity”
It might sound a bit harsh but I been there myself, and it’s a fact that we as humans find it easier to find comfort in our suffering and pain. We put on the “blanket” and blame our situation on everything around us. And yes, there are many situations where we rightfully can do so – being hit by redundancy, getting seriously sick and you can add more to the list.
Why do we do that? Because it’s the easiest thing to do. It requires nothing from you and in many cases, people around you will support you in it and give you that warm fluffy comforting feeling. The problem with that is, it leads to nothing except being reinforced in a none motivational feeling, no way ahead, no way out – you are in a lockdown.
Now the opposite choice is changing your state of mind. That is not always easy because it takes a conscious decision and you can actually feel alone because a change in your state of mind will be visible to people close to you and they might tell you stuff like “you might get hurt again”, “are you sure you are ready?”
Changing your state is life changing! Remember that a lot of what happens to you are happening in your mind, and a positive state of mind will break your pattern and send you on a different path that you control. How do you start changing your state of mind? Start telling yourself a new story, a story about greatness. Give yourself a mantra, like “I’m amazing” or “I can do so much”. Even if you don’t believe it, in the beginning, keep telling yourself the mantra and your state of mind will start to change.
My personal mantra I started telling myself over 20 years ago was: “positive mental attitude” It forced my mind to start focusing on positivity and reprogramming my mind to believe that whatever life throws at me, there is one thing I always would be the master over, my attitude!